


Desire

by Dellefox



Series: Pridecember 2020 [6]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: AU, Aged-Up Character(s), Atem being a brat, Awful dad jokes, But It's For A Good Reason, Kaiba Seto Needs a Hug, Light Smut, M/M, Pillow Fights, Seto not processing feelings, YGOPridecember2020, Yami Yuugi | Atem Has His Own Body, post-dsod, terrible puns, ygopridecember
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:28:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27912286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dellefox/pseuds/Dellefox
Summary: Day 6 of Pridecember!Prompt: DesireJoey teaches Atem the art of the dad joke. Featuring pillow fights, horrible puns, Seto being terrible at processing feelings, and Atem being an absolute dork. AU, post-DSOD.
Relationships: Atem/Kaiba Seto, Kaiba Seto/Yami Yuugi, Kaiba Seto/Yami Yuugi | Atem
Series: Pridecember 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2037481
Comments: 8
Kudos: 22





	Desire

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this Tumblr post: https://bit.ly/33MC3E9
> 
> Continuing my torture of Kaiba this month, we have dad jokes! Why? Because I love the idea of Atem making ridiculous puns and it also gives me an excuse to explore the more melodramatic side of Seto’s personality. 
> 
> Joey and Tristan make minor appearances.

It had been three years since Seto had lost his mind, channeled his grief into inventing interdimensional travel, made the journey to Aaru to flip the bird at the so-called “destiny” the gods had decided upon, and brought Atem back home to Domino City.

And Atem was grateful. While he insisted on carrying out the Ceremonial Duel and adhering to the prewritten script laid before him, crossing that threshold to the afterlife felt unfulfilling and, on some level, fundamentally wrong. Like potential being wasted. Like he just wasn’t _done._ So when Seto arrived to duel him, he pleaded with the Gods to let him return. Upon seeing Seto and the steps he’d taken to break in, his wish was granted, and Seto whisked him away and back to Earth.

While adjusting to the current technology was unsettling at first and caused a fair amount of anxiety, he was thankful he had the most qualified person in the tech world by his side to walk him through things, even if Seto’s patience wore thin sometimes.

Once the basics were mastered, Atem was able to settle down and immerse himself in the culture of the city that would have been his hometown had he not ruled over Egypt millennia ago. Joey, Yugi, and Tristan were all too happy to teach him about memes, comics, TV shows, and modern humor.

This included, much to Seto’s disgust, dad jokes.

Joey had recently explained the concept of such puns to him during a lunch break at the game shop one afternoon, and Atem found the cringeworthy brand of humor absolutely delightful. Seto did not.

The one-liners crawled under his skin and made his brain itch. They grated at his nerves and left them frayed at the edges. They released clouds of butterflies into his stomach and his chest, and, for some inexplicable reason, piqued the desire to do _very_ naughty things to his boyfriend. Not that he didn’t _enjoy_ said naughty things, but the fact that Joey, that absolute _hack_ of a wannabe duelist, was now mildly influencing bedtime activities with his beloved made him want to tear his hair out and punch a few walls. He found the very core of the concept so _unevolved_ and beneath him, and to see a once great, noble Egyptian leader giggling over jokes about how TUBA stood for “terrible underwater breathing apparatus” made his insides squirm in an unfamiliar way.

As they settled into bed one evening Atem padded into the room sporting a very soft-looking pair of Warhol-inspired banana print pajama pants. Seto raised an eyebrow and noted with concealed delight that Atem was not wearing a shirt. Atem locked eyes with him and smirked.

“Like what you see?”

Seto tilted his head. “You’re wearing bananas.”

“Why yes, thank you for noticing.” Seto was rewarded with a kiss on the cheek. He tried to aim his attention back to the book he was reading, but the pants kept chewing at his brain. He’d never understood pop art. He knew he shouldn’t ask. There was a small chance he would get the answer he was looking for, which could possibly include an introspective discussion on the appeal of technicolor soup cans and American supermodels, but something about this entire interaction was off, and he felt there was a much higher risk of accidentally uncovering a metaphorical trap card.

“Why bananas?” 

Atem grinned, and Seto immediately regretted his decision. “Because…” he shifted his position on bed so that he was lying on his side and facing the taller man. “…I find you quite a- _peeling,_ Seto.”

Seto exhaled audibly through his nose and his steel blue eyes snapped up to the ceiling, narrowed in annoyance. Atem’s laughter echoed through the bedroom. He quieted down after about fifteen seconds, and crawled over to Seto. “Well?” he asked.

Seto trained his eyes, still narrowed, back to his much shorter boyfriend. Then he tossed the book aside and pounced on him.

“ _No._ ”

Long, slender fingers found all of Atem’s ticklish spots and attacked them relentlessly. More laugher flowed through the bedroom, bestrewed with pleas for Seto to stop that went largely ignored until Seto was satisfied with his impromptu punishment and took up his book once again. Atem was left giggling and gasping for air on his side of the plush California king bed. He wiggled himself under the covers to snuggle with Seto and snaked a tanned arm around Seto’s bare waist.

“You cannot stop me that easily, my beloved,” he purred into Seto’s ear. “I will become the king of puns just as I was the king of games.”

“Not in this house,” Seto fired back, brain turning fuzzy from Atem’s ministrations and trying to refocus, once again, on his book. “I _will_ find a punishment to end this nonsense, and afterwards I will exact my revenge on that obnoxious mutt Yugi calls his best friend.”

“Now, now,” Atem said. “Tristan had a hand in it too.”

“Joey started it. He’s a terrible influence.”

“Seto-“

“ _Egregious_ influence.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Atem rolled away from Seto and shimmied out of the pants before rolling back onto his side, hooking a leg around Seto’s hips and snuggling into the crook of his neck. Seto tilted the angle of his book so that Atem could read along with him, and he tangled his fingers into Atem’s hair. The butterflies returned. He silently cursed them.

~-~-~-~

“You’re home early!”

Seto hung his coat on the rack by the garage entryway and strode into the kitchen to greet Atem with a chaste kiss. “There’s a game tonight downtown. I didn’t feel like being stuck in traffic burning out my clutch, so I decided to work from home tonight.” He grabbed a lowball glass from the cupboard above the bar and retrieved an ice sphere from the freezer dispenser. He decided Macallan 18 would be an appropriate choice for reviewing duel disk specs. “Where’s Mokuba?”

“Game night with friends,” Atem replied. “He said he texted you about it.”

“Fuck, I forgot that was tonight.” He wrapped his free an arm around Atem’s waist and rested his chin atop a mop of messy dyed tresses, content to watch Atem clip a long pothos vine into sections for propagating while he swirled the whiskey around the lowball glass. Along with memes, Atem had discovered a love of house plants and had set about filling the house with beautiful greenery. Kaiba Manor had a large, ornate greenhouse in the back, but Atem had yet to acclimate to Domino’s somewhat harsh winters, so Seto let him move his work to the much warmer kitchen.

“How was work?”

“Oh, the usual.” Atem gathered up the cuttings and gently set them into a large vase that he’d filled with water and rooting hormone. “Customers are asking us if we know anything about the new duel disk model, and the new Duel Monsters series is moving quickly. We’ll likely be sold out before the weekend. Oh, and Joey told me a new joke today.”

Seto tensed. “I swear to fuck if it’s another dad joke-“

“It isn’t!” Atem insisted. “It’s a Fibonacci joke.”

Internal alarms began to sound in Seto’s head. Joey wasn’t a complete moron, but he wasn’t Mensa material either.

“You mean to tell me that not only has the mutt heard of the Fibonacci spiral but that he also understands it well enough to use in a joke?”

“He’s smarter than you think.” Atem set the vase under a grow lamp on the counter. “But I have to warn you, it’s as bad as the last two jokes you’ve heard combined.”

There was a pregnant pause, followed by an exasperated sigh and a barely audible “Mother _fucker_ ” from Seto. He set his drink down and unwound his arm from a now snickering Atem to go and grab a handful of ice cubes from the freezer. He advanced on him with a smirk, pointedly ignoring the return of the butterflies. 

Atem’s eyes widened. “Don’t you dare!”

In two steps Seto closed the space between them and dropped the ice cubes down his shirt, once by one. “Penalty game,” he growled. Atem let out a shriek as the cold shards slid down bare skin. Seto dropped more ice cubes down the back of his pants and kept a firm grip on Atem as he wiggled and gasped, the cubes sending chilled sparks everywhere they made contact. “Clearly we haven’t learned from the last incident.”

Atem scowled. “I cannot be stopped,” he declared.

Seto slid a cold hand up his front, underneath his shirt. “I’ll find a way.” Atem bit his lip and closed his eyes.

“You’re a tease,” he hissed.

“Consider that part of the penalty game.” Seto withdrew his hand and walked around to face Atem. He trailed a hand down Atem’s cheek before grabbing his drink and heading to his office. Maybe the whiskey would exterminate the butterflies.

“This isn’t over, Kaiba!” Atem yelled. “This isn’t even close to my best material!”

“I’m shaking with fright,” Seto yelled back sarcastically.

The whiskey did not rid Seto of the butterflies.

~-~-~-~-~

Winter was ravaging Domino City worse than usual, and temperatures had dropped significantly below freezing. Black ice warnings were in full effect, and had Seto not had meetings that required his physical presence he would have worked from home to avoid the icy roads and inevitable accidents caused by the careless and those unfamiliar with how to navigate the slick roads.

The last meeting started late to accommodate an international time zone, and ran late. Across town, Atem worked long after shop close to help Joey and Yugi unpack a huge last-minute shipment of the new Duel Monsters cards. By the time everything was priced, input into the inventory computer system, and set out on the shop floor, it was nearly ten. He and Seto got home at the same time. Teeth chattering, they sprinted from the frigid garage to the house, through the kitchen, down the hallway and up the stairs to the bedroom to find that it was not much warmer.

“ _Xara!”_ Atem swore. “I set the thermostat to come on an hour before we got home and it still isn’t warm.” He quickly changed into pajamas, dove under the covers and buried himself in the heat of the electric blanket.

“It’s too damn cold,” Seto groused as he changed. “I hate this time of year. I’m freezing _._ ”

Silence.

Seto’s eyes widened. _Oh no._

He could hear suppressed giggles on the other side of the bed, which heralded the return of the butterflies. Oh, goody.

“Atem Mutou, don’t even think about it!”

“But you’ve summoned the ultimate form of dad joke,” Atem squeaked.

“No!” Seto pleaded. “Send it to the graveyard! Place it in defense mode and _end your turn_!”

“I _can’t!_ You’re the one who summoned it! I _must_ finish it!”

“No you don’t!” Seto said emphatically. “You’re strong! You commanded armies and ruled over Egypt! You saved your people! You’ve dueled countless enemies for stakes far higher than this and defeated them! For fuck’s sake Atem, _fight it_! You’re better than this!”

Seto could almost hear Atem vibrating. Atem lay there, under the warm blankets, seized helplessly by the overwhelming desire to finish this, the highest caliber of paternal humor.

Atem took a deep breath and held it. They both lay still, silence ringing in their ears.

“NicetomeetyouFreezingmyname’sAtem!”

Seto felt his right eye twitch. The butterflies had stormed the bastille and were now invading every part of him, stomach and heart no longer sufficient to contain their numbers. The chill that hung in the bedroom was instantly forgotten. He grabbed a pillow and screamed into it while Atem howled with laughter next to him. When Seto’s lungs had exhausted themselves he looked up and narrowed his eyes at Atem.

_To Hell with this!_

Atem was assaulted with repeated whacks of the pillow, which only served to escalate laughter into cackling. He tried to crawl away from Seto, but the much taller man lunged at him to keep him pinned to the bed. It worked, but now Seto was lying slightly less than perpendicular across Atem’s chest, which left him unable to continue the attack. Worse, it shifted them both so that Atem was now within arm’s reach of his own pillow. In one swift motion, Atem grabbed it and proceeded to clobber Seto with it.

“ _Off,_ you humorless fiend!” he yelled.

“ _Never,_ ” Seto growled. He rolled off Atem to continue the pillow fight but before he could steady himself Atem was off the bed and trotting towards the door.

“Hey!” Butterflies be damned! Atem may have started this but he was going to make damn sure whatever this was got finished.

Atem pulled down his lower eyelid with his middle finger and stuck his tongue out at Seto before vanishing into the hall.

“Get back here this instant!” Seto yelled. He was fairly certain he no longer had human cell structure and that he had, in fact, morphed into a cloud of Kaiba-shaped butterflies.

“ _Make me,_ Kaiba!”

Atem sprinted down the carpeted hall, laughing maniacally and clutching his pillow under his right arm with Seto in hot pursuit, armed with his own pillow. Atem rounded the corner to the upstairs reading nook, vaulted over the sofa that sat in the middle, and continued back down the hall, Seto’s long legs quickly closing distance. Atem continued down the stairs and was halfway to the ground floor when, to his horror, he saw Seto _sliding_ down the bannister, smirking at him all the way down. He hopped off at the base of the stairs and stared up at him, smirk turning into a predatory grin.

“Where will you go now, Pharaoh?” he asked, voice low and taunting. “You’ve nowhere else to run. Your only viable option is to surrender.”

Atem squinted at Seto. Then he bolted back up the stairs.

“You’ll never take me alive!” he yelled. He reached the top step and felt a pillow connect with his back.

“You’re being dramatic.”

He kept running, and Seto kept swinging, the pillow making a noisy _thwack_ with each hit landed. Just before he reached the bedroom he turned around and started returning the blows. Their pillow-sparring slowly migrated back towards the reading nook.

 _“I’m_ dramatic?” He shot back. _Thwack!_ “You’re the one who-“ _Thwack!_ “-keeps overreacting-“ _Thwack!_ “-to my jokes!” _THWACK!_ The last one nearly knocked Seto off balance.

“I do _not_ -“ _Thwack!_ “-overreact!” _THWACK._

They stopped to catch their breath. Atem rested his elbows on his knees.

“When I was younger,” he said, “I was obsessed with the difference between sine and cosine. As I got older, I realized it was just a phase.”

“Stop it,” Seto hissed.

“When I was pharaoh, Egypt had no electricity. It was a dark time.”

“This is asinine-“

“Parallel lines have so much in common, Seto! It’s such tragedy they shall never meet.”

“ _Atem-“_

“I once had to duel against 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9 all at once. The odds were against me, but I was victorious.” He looked up.

Seto snorted. He scowled and pursed his lips. Atem studied him carefully. Was he…?

“You’re trying not to laugh!” Atem exclaimed.

Seto exhaled sharply. “Only because this entire conversation and interaction is ridiculous! Look as us! We’re grown adults and we’re _pillow fighting_ because of puns!”

“ _You’re_ pillow fighting. I’m pillow-defending,” Atem corrected him. “And while I may be the one telling the jokes, your reaction to every single one has been nearly melodramatic.”

Seto’s expression became unreadable. Atem placed his pillow on the floor and walked over to him. He slowly placed his arms around Seto’s neck. Seto placed the hand not holding a pillow on Atem’s hip, confusion now clouding bright blue eyes, metaphorical butterflies swirling around his head.

“My Seto…do you not realize I keep doing this _because_ you react this way?”

Seto glared down at him. “Because you get your kicks out of tormenting me?”

Atem chuckled. “That’s nonsense and you know it. I think you _like_ it. Why else would you react this way? It’s equally as ridiculous and childish as the jokes. You’re getting something important out of this or else you’d ignore me.”

“I…” Seto pressed his lips together.

“I think it makes you feel happy in a way with which you’re unfamiliar. I’ve seen you allow yourself moments of enjoyment, but this is different.” Atem pressed a palm against Seto’s cheek. “This is… _joy_. Jubilation. Jocund.”

Seto raised an eyebrow, “Abstain against alliteration, Atem.”

Atem threw his head back and laughed. “Now you're getting it.” He pulled Seto down for a kiss. Seto pulled him closer and deepened it, slowly moving the pillow up and out in a sneak attack. In a split second Atem’s hand was off of Seto’s cheek and grabbing for it. Seto yanked his hand away, broke the kiss, and took a swing. Atem ducked and went to grab his pillow, but Seto snatched it up. Wide crimson eyes looked up at Seto, now holding both pillows triumphantly, with an absolutely wicked, predatory grin.

“Oh no,” he murmured.

“Oh _yes,_ ” Seto growled.

Atem tore back down the hall and into the bedroom. He tried to close and lock the door before Seto could get in but he didn’t quite make it in time. Seto threw his upper body against the door. Atem pushed back.

“I told you, your only choice is to surrender,” Seto’s voice was low, scratchy, wanton. It sent delightful shivers down Atem’s spine and made his body temperature rise. He continued to push against the door, but Seto wrenched a pillow in to keep it from closing, followed by an arm, a shoulder, and finally his head.

“Heeeeeeeeeeere’s Johnny!”

Atem burst out laughing while Seto lunged into the bedroom and closed the door himself. He tucked one pillow under his arm so he could lock the door, then he rounded on Atem.

"You're trapped."

"Come and get me then."

Atem didn’t even care about getting caught anymore. He felt strong arms pick him up by his thigh and hoist him up so that he was looking down at Seto, and he was unceremoniously carried over to and deposited onto the bed. He wasn’t sure where the pillows went but when Seto started attacking his neck with heated bites and kisses and pulling off clothes he didn’t care. He returned the favor with equal passion.

They made love over and over and over again, until the desire that had been building all week was finally sated and their energy spent. Seto pulled the covers over them and Atem buried his face in the crook of Seto’s neck, breathing in the scent of sweat and sex and Seto’s cologne. A hand slipped past his hairline, fingers tangling in wild locks of hair, pulling him up and towards Seto so he could steal one more kiss from his king. Atem slid back down, winding an arm around Seto’s neck and hitching a leg around his waist. Seto combed his fingers through Atem’s hair, now damp from the night’s activities.

“I don’t know what the hell you’ve done to me but I don’t ever want you to stop,” he murmured.

Atem chuckled. “There are only so many puns, Seto.” He massaged small circles into Seto’s shoulder.

“It’s not – that’s not –“ Seto paused. “You were right.”

“About the joy?”

“About all of it. God, the jokes are just so _awful_ -“

“That’s the point, Seto.”

“I know, and that’s why they drive me insane, but…they make you laugh, and they make you happy, and you share all of that with me, for some inexplicable reason. I never knew it could be like this.” He didn’t dare say any more, the mere thoughts of the joy and love he felt were clenching painfully in his gut and he wasn’t quite ready to deal with that yet. This elation, and warmth, and the slowly emerging revelation that perhaps Atem was right about their destinies being intertwined and multiple past lives spent together as lovers. It was big and terrifying and threatening to smother him, so he pushed it back to deal with later. Small steps. He was, at last, starting to feel human. One piece at a time. Like a puzzle. And because Atem always seemed to know exactly what he needed, when he needed it, he broke Seto’s reverie.

“ _The Shining?_ Really?”

Seto looked down at his boyfriend. “It’s a cinematic masterpiece!”

“I’m sure it is.” Atem’s voice was becoming drowsy.

“We’re watching it every Halloween until you finally understand Stanley Kubrick’s brilliance.”

“The book was better.” Atem’s breathing deepened.

“The book is always better if you lack the ability to divorce the book from the film adaptation.”

“Go to sleep, Seto.”

Sleep was often elusive to Seto, the pressures of transitioning his company and protecting his family often keeping it at bay. But as his eyelids fluttered shut, he realized that too was beginning to change. In five minutes he was out.

~-~-~-~-~

Atem’s phone rattled against the game shop counter, announcing the arrival of a text from Seto. Atem cautiously flipped it open, Joey and Tristan peering over his shoulder.

_A mutt and his shark friend walk into a bar. The pharaoh ducks out of the way._

“Hey!” exclaimed Joey. “Uncalled for!”

Tristan chuckled. “You do have a habit of walking into solid, easily-seen objects.” Atem’s phone vibrated again.

_Correction: the pharaoh walks under the bar because he’s_ short _._

“Now _that_ is uncalled for,” Atem grumbled. “See if he gets any tonight.”

“Eeeeeeew, TMI!” Joey said. “Oh hey, looks like Moneybags sent ya another one.”

_Last night I dreamt I was a car muffler. I woke up exhausted this morning._

All three of them dissolved into snickers.

“Well, Atem, it looks like you’ve achieved the impossible yet again,” Tristan said. “Mr. Uptight Stick-in-the-Mud really does have a sense of humor. How did you do it?”

“Immersion therapy.” Atem opened a booster pack of Duel Monsters cards and sorted them for individual pricing. “But it was you and Joey who should be getting the credit. You taught me well.”

“You know, I’d lost hope for Kaiba until he brought you back. Maybe he’ll loosen up, in time.” Tristan started gingerly slipping each card into a plastic sleeve.

“I mean, don’t get me wrong Atem, you’re real good for him and everything, but I think Tristan’s head’s in the clouds,” Joey chimed in, opening a second booster pack.

Atem’s phone went off again.

_Don’t think for a minute I believe Joey can wrap his thick head around the Fibonacci spiral._

“The what?” Joey asked. “The fuck is that? Sounds like fancy pasta.”

“It’s a math equation,” Tristan corrected.

“Boooo-ring!”

Sugoroku tottered into the shop. “Come now, boys! We need to get these priced and put out before the weekend rush! Chop chop!” 

The group dispersed with a flurry and the work day continued as normal, but not before Atem whipped off a quick response to Seto:

_You’re being quite a fun-_ gi _today._

Five minutes later:

_You win. I can’t keep this up. I can feel myself getting dumber._

Atem laughed, slipped his phone back into his pocket, and went back to opening booster packs.

**Author's Note:**

> When I tell you I yelled out loud with joy upon finding the Fibonacci joke…
> 
> “Xara,” according to my research, translates roughly to “Shit!” in Egyptian Arabic. Someone please correct me if I’m wrong. 
> 
> Seto’s inability to recognize his reaction to the jokes is because seeing Atem happy makes him happy and he doesn’t know how to handle happy gives me ALL THE FEELS and I hope it gives you feels too. Also there’s something to do with his lack of a proper childhood in there somewhere that he may or may not subconsciously be tying to re-live. 
> 
> Things I’m noticing as I spend more time writing these two idiots: 
> 
> -Them cuddling and reading together went from being a one-off for ‘Glasses’ to apparently a nightly ritual that’s been going on forever, according to the timeline I’ve just created(this is set several years prior). So yeah, that’s a thing. That happened.  
> -I'm also enjoying writing Atem trying to adjust to modern life, and learning about all the little things in addition to the big things(driving, smart phones, work, etc).  
> -Clearly Seto and Atem had one past life together, so the idea of them spending multiple lives together across the next several millennia before the DM arcs isn't outlandish to me. Might explore that later(and if anyone wants to explore this please let me know what you come up with!)
> 
> I had a blast writing this, and I was feeling kind of down after ‘Slow’ but I feel like I’m getting some mojo back. 
> 
> And as always, feedback greatly appreciated! <3


End file.
